Wedding Etiquette Q & A

The Best Advice on Handling Your Trickiest Dilemmas

I’m confused. What is the difference between an escort card, a place card, and a table card?

Great question! The escort card is often mistakenly referred to as a place card, but the two are quite different. The escort card informs guests of the table at which they will be sitting and has their names and the table number on it. These cards are usually placed alphabetically on a table near the reception entrance so guests can easily find their spots. The place cards are already on the dinner tables and situated at a place setting to indicate where each guest is to sit. Used more frequently at formal weddings, these are optional for informal weddings. The table card is a prominently displayed sign on each reception table that bears its number.

We're getting married in April 2015. Is it acceptable to send out wedding invitations by e-mail?

Although it may be tempting to do, wedding invitations should be sent the traditional way. After all, with e-mails inundating computers and Smartphones today, an invitation received through the mail is considered very special—and also a good way to set the tone for your wedding.

Where should we place our favors? We’re giving our guests bottles of wine, and we’re not sure whether to put them on the reception tables or display all of them on their own.

It’s up to the two of you to decide which presentation appeals to you most. You can put a bottle at each guest’s place setting on the reception tables, or all the bottles can be beautifully displayed for guests as they leave. Just be sure that someone monitors the table, so people don’t take more than one!

By Patricia Canole

Planning: The Guest List

5 EASY WAYS TO GET IT UNDER CONTROL.

1. DON’T PUT OFF “THE TALK” 
From the beginning, communicate with your parents and determine the number of guests that your budget allows. Traditionally, each family get half of the desired total; that translates into four lists—one each for the bride, the groom, the bride’s parents, and the groom’s parents. Focus on numbers first to avoid painful cuts later.

2. DIVIDE AND CONQUER 
Sort possible guests into categories, and then eliminate by groups. Always be sure to make across-the-board, clear-cut distinctions however. For example, you might decide to invite all of your aunts and uncles but forego cousins and other relatives. Just make sure to cut each category equally to avoid any hurt feelings.

3. SEPARATE WORK AND PLAY 
It is acceptable to leave out all of your office associates—or most of them. If just family and close friends are attending your wedding, your coworkers should understand that you had to make the cut-off. If you do end up inviting a few colleagues include those who are also among your closest friends.

4. AVOID PAYBACK 
This is not the time for your parents to insist on reciprocity for weddings they’ve attended over the years. It's your party! Of course, listen to your parents’ suggestions and ideas for the guest list, but know that this is a decision that you and your fiancé should make, and your list of invitees takes priority.

5. FAR-AWAY PALS 
If you think having to travel a great distance will prevent some people on your list from making it to your wedding, call them to find out if that is the case. While you might still want to send invitations to your closest long-distance friends and family, you can send announcements after the wedding to the others.



By Patricia Canole
For more wedding planning tips and trends, visit ForTheBrideMag.com
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