The First Of Many Celebrations: A Chance To Share Your Engagement!
WHEN Within three months of the engagement.
WHO HOSTS Traditionally, the bride’s family hosts, but many of today’s couples take the reins or divvy up the duties between both families.
PREPARTY TO DO’S Keep the engagement party relatively casual (think shift dress with a bolero jacket and peep-toe pumps). While etiquette does not require it, most guests will bring presents so consider starting a gift registry prior to the gathering. Expect guests to ask about the wedding date and plans; try to have some details in place (such as the time of year you want your nuptials) before the party date arrives.
THEME & DÉCOR A quaint brunch or evening cocktails are easy to pull off and set the right tone. Keep the menu simple with light refreshments, but make sure you have plenty of bubbly on hand. Sparkling wine such as Italian Prosecco is an unexpectedly chic alternative to more traditional Champagne. Dot tables with small floral arrangements or centerpiece cakes; tea lights add a nice touch for cocktails. Personalize the event in little ways with monogrammed items such as notepads, candy tins, etc. All are readily available online at sites such as beau-coup.com.
VENUE Your family’s home, a chic lounge or a favorite restaurant is the perfect locale for this celebratory affair. Offer a brief toast to your upcoming nuptials and thank guests for sharing in your joy. Let them know how much you look forward to having them at your wedding.
GUEST LIST Only invite people who are sure to be on the wedding guest list.
Bottom line: Keep it small and intimate.
By Patricia Canole
For more wedding planning tips and trends, visit ForTheBrideMag.com
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5 EASY WAYS TO GET IT UNDER CONTROL.
1. DON’T PUT OFF “THE TALK”
From the beginning, communicate with your parents and determine the number of guests that your budget allows. Traditionally, each family get half of the desired total; that translates into four lists—one each for the bride, the groom, the bride’s parents, and the groom’s parents. Focus on numbers first to avoid painful cuts later.
2. DIVIDE AND CONQUER
Sort possible guests into categories, and then eliminate by groups. Always be sure to make across-the-board, clear-cut distinctions however. For example, you might decide to invite all of your aunts and uncles but forego cousins and other relatives. Just make sure to cut each category equally to avoid any hurt feelings.
3. SEPARATE WORK AND PLAY
It is acceptable to leave out all of your office associates—or most of them. If just family and close friends are attending your wedding, your coworkers should understand that you had to make the cut-off. If you do end up inviting a few colleagues include those who are also among your closest friends.
4. AVOID PAYBACK
This is not the time for your parents to insist on reciprocity for weddings they’ve attended over the years. It's your party! Of course, listen to your parents’ suggestions and ideas for the guest list, but know that this is a decision that you and your fiancé should make, and your list of invitees takes priority.
5. FAR-AWAY PALS
If you think having to travel a great distance will prevent some people on your list from making it to your wedding, call them to find out if that is the case. While you might still want to send invitations to your closest long-distance friends and family, you can send announcements after the wedding to the others.
By Patricia Canole
For more wedding planning tips and trends, visit ForTheBrideMag.com
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Planning Your Menu Needn’t Be A Daunting Process. Here’s Some Food For Thought!
CREATE A TIMELINE
As soon as you’ve settled on a location—often up to a year prior to the date—it’s time to book your caterer (or begin working with your site’s caterer). Plan your menu seven months beforehand and aim to hold your tasting roughly six weeks before the wedding.
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| Scott Corridan Design |
CHOOSE YOUR CATERER
It may seem like a no-brainer, but pick someone who regularly prepares the type of food you want. If you find yourself making more than small changes to a caterer’s standard offerings, it may not be a good fit. Previous wedding experience is a necessity, and definitely make sure the caterer has handled events of a similar size.
SET THE STYLE
Before deciding on specific foods for your wedding, figure out the general mood of your reception.
Formal or traditional affair: Plan on a light cocktail hour, then a seated dinner followed by dancing. A variation features courses intermingled with dancing.
Traditional with a little edge: Consider an extended cocktail hour followed by a light sitdown dinner and then elaborately stocked dessert stations.
Most relaxed: Opt for the increasingly popular supper, during which guests dance, mingle and take food from buffets, passed trays and action stations where chefs prepare food.
TRY BEFORE YOU BUY
See if it’s possible to arrange a tasting before you put down a deposit. Not every caterer will do this, and may cost extra, but it’s definitely worth it. One other option: Ask to attend a corporate event or other function where you can sample the food in an atmosphere that will be similar to your wedding.
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| Scott Corridan Design |
CHECK REFERENCES
When you call previous clients of a potential caterer (that’s when, not if—this isn’t a step to skip!), don’t just inquire whether they were pleased and how the food tasted. Ask about the number of guests at their event, the type of venue and their menu style—if you are expecting 250 guests at a formal affair, someone else’s 40-person beach party isn’t a good indicator of your potential satisfaction.
GET AN ESTIMATE
After your initial meeting, request an outline. This should specify:
- What the base price includes
- Per person cost
- Add-on fees
- Menu options
- Style of service
- Presentation
Note: Check whether the quoted includes tax and service charges. (The latter is separate from a gratuity and can easily increase your total bill by 25-to-30 percent.)
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| Scott Corridan Design |
BEFORE YOU DECIDE
Make sure you’re clear about exactly what the charges cover. Most caterers include food, beverages, staffing, tables, chairs and serving pieces in the base prices, with anything out of the ordinary (like specialty china, etc.). Think of all the possible items necessary for your reception and talk about who will provide them. If chairs, tables or other furniture needs to be rented, discuss whether you or the caterer are responsible for arranging that. Also, ask about what services—creation of the floorplan and timeline, room setup and table settings—come standard or are available for an extra cost.
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| Villa Aquamarine |
TAKE THE CAKE?
Discuss who will be baking the wedding cake and if any cakecutting fees will apply. Offpremises caterers generally outsource the cake, while onsite caterers usually make their own and charge a cutting fee if you bring one in from somewhere else.
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| Ritz-Carlton New Orleans |
THE TASTE TEST
The general rule for menu tastings is six-to-eight weeks before your wedding, but your situation may call for holding it earlier (if you are having a destination wedding). Pay as much attention to presentation as you do to flavors. And speak up—if your caterer needs to make major menu changes much longer after the tasting, it’ll be hard not to worry about how the food wll turn out on the big day.
By Patricia Canole
For more wedding planning tips and trends, visit ForTheBrideMag.com
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for up-to-the-minute updates!
