Thursday, July 25, 2013

Writing Your Vows... Choosing The Right Words to Declare Your Love

Writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task. You may be feeling pressure to perform or suffering from a severe case of writer’s block. Don’t stress! Penning your feelings to paper is a skill that doesn’t come naturally—but it can be done. Here’s how.

Your ring is a symbol of love but words are important too


Before starting, talk to your officiant. Some houses of worship allow couples to recite only traditional vows. If, however, you get the green light don’t wait until the last minute. Give yourselves sufficient time to complete your vows to become comfortable with them. This process requires time and thought; you don’t want to be rushed.


Decide on the length, content, or if there is any personal information you don’t want shared with your friends and family. Discuss if you want to share your vows with each other before your wedding day for approval or motivation. Remember that vows are an agreement and should include: A declaration of love (“I’ll love you until the end of my days”), future promises for marriage (“I pledge to love and cherish you through all the trials and triumphs in years to come”), and a personal touch (“you are my friend, lover, a cheerleader through the good and bad”). If faith plays an important role in your life or if it differs from your fiancé’s, discuss this with your partner before the wedding to acknowledge each other’s expectations and how to best incorporate them into your vows.


Why not exchange love letters with your fiancé for inspiration. This is a fun way of motivating each other’s wit and a cute bonding experience during your wedding planning process. Consider it a rough draft and have copies of your letters when composing your vows as a guideline.


There’s no reason you can’t rework what others have used in the past. Begin with wedding videos from friends and family members to see how typical vows are composed and performed. Also, do a little research and read through poetry or meaningful passages to help you find the right words. Web sites including and are excellent places to look for creative ideas. You might also want to check out books like The Everything Wedding Vows Book (Adams Media) for even more ideas. If you’re unsure of what you’ve written and need an outside opinion, ask friends or family to read over your vows for honest feedback. Your officiant can also be remarkably helpful, especially if you wish to incorporate faith into your vows.

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By Danielle Ling

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